I still love you

Kesha—This is Goodbye

The hope is fading from my lips
When I kiss you with goodbye
Now when you let go of our last embrace
Please don’t look me in the eye
Secret’s out, that I just might care about you
You broke me, you’re leaving
There’s nothing I can do

I’ll find a way to close the door
I want to say so much more but
I found you once, you’re lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

I don’t want to
Won’t let myself
I have to realize
This might be
This could be
This is goodbye
This is goodbye

The smile fate was wearing, slowly die
Minutes turn to months
Silence of the phone just mocks my cry
When I see that you’ve moved on
Secret’s out that I did care about you
You broke me, you left me
There was nothing I could do

I’ll find a way to close the door
I want to say so much more but
I found you once, you’re lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

I don’t want to
Won’t let myself
I have to realize
This might be
This could be
This is goodbye

Do I ever cross your mind?
Cause you’re on mine all the time
I can’t believe how unfair life is sometimes

Find a way to close the door
And be okay with nothing more but
Found you once, you’re lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

I don’t want to
Won’t let myself
I have to realize
This might be
This could be
This is goodbye
This is goodbye

Dear Anon,

So the previous post just below is me responding to an anon. The thing is…I have a strong feeling that this anon is my ex. Yes my ex. The one I’ve been referring to in most of my posts. It’s just crazy. That simple comment, although I know only good was meant, made me cry a little. It’s difficult being in this position. Having someone totally work for you, but you don’t work for them. It’s crazy. I’ve found a lot of things I want to do to improve myself and I have a lot of goals for myself. Any way back to my anon/possible ex….

Chris if you are following my blog I hope you know I’m okay with it. I gave you my website while we were dating as my final opening up to you. You get to see my inner thoughts that I hide from a lot of people. Even though we are now only friends, you still mean a lot to me and understand me better than most. Therefore, I’m okay with sharing this side of me. I’m looking forward to getting to a better place and being ready for a friendship with you. Just know that I’m trying and I’m working hard. I really hope you are doing well and in case you are reading this that it finds you happy. I’ll talk to you soon.

Love, Tiff (aka kiddo)

Thank you anon. That means a lot to hear…especially with some of the things I’ve gone through recently. Right now though I’m only concerned about loving myself (in a non selfish-into-myself-sort-of way) and taking care of me. But thanks. I know I’ll find the love I desire one day…when its right.

I try to remind myself this. One day it will work out and all of the pain will be worth it.

The Lion King has so many life lessons in it. Love it!

I am currently changing this.

It would probably be too hard to ever trust him the way I did before. He broke my heart not once…but twice. I don’t want to deal with a third.

aestheticaspirations:

Song: “Tighten Up” - The Black Keys

Image from: be-lie-ved